THE FINE ART OF SMALL TALK: HOW TO START A CONVERSATION, KEEP

December 2, 2019November 3, 2020 Luke Rowley Communication Skills, Psychology, Relationships, Self Improvement

1-Sentence-Summary: The Fine Art Of Small Talk will teach you how lớn skillfully start, continue, and end conversations with anyone, no matter how shy you think you are.

Bạn đang xem: The fine art of small talk: how to start a conversation, keep

Read in: 4 minutesFavorite quote from the author:

If you’re lượt thích me, you might dread an elevator ride with strangers or getting a haircut. Most of us don’t lượt thích the small talk associated with these everyday events. But these little interactions have much more potential than we realize. They can be the foundation khổng lồ important business relationships, lasting friendships, và even romances. Just think of what you might be missing out on!

It’s perfectly normal lớn feel shy. Many people make the mistake of thinking that just because they’re afraid to talk khổng lồ people it means they’ll always be that way. Thankfully, that’s not true, your mind is much more fluid than you think.

You can break through the fear & learn to lớn become great at conversation skills. The Fine Art of Small Talk: How khổng lồ Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills — và Leave a Positive Impression! is your way there. And if you feel like you’re the only shy person in the world, look no further than author Debra Fine for someone who has been there herself.

Once shy và overweight, Fine began her career as an engineer because it involved less communication. Eventually, she’d had it with her situation và decided to lớn make some changes to lớn meet new people. After losing 65 pounds & learning how khổng lồ become great at small talk, Fine began to lớn take charge of her life. Và it’s these same skills she wants to teach you in this book!

Here are the 3 greatest small talk skills that I’ve learned from this book:

You’re in charge of initiating conversations with others, and learning a few simple skills can help you do it gracefully.Think of good questions ahead of time to lớn improve your conversations.Listening is an important part of small talk, và is more than just knowing the words that people are saying to you.

Get ready to lớn overcome your fears of talking lớn people & let’s get started!

If you want to save this summary for later, tải về the miễn phí PDF and read it whenever you want.

Download PDF

Lesson 1: Follow these basic guidelines lớn help you initiate conversations.

First things first, you’re in control of your small talk skills và only you can improve them. It’s natural lớn be afraid of talking khổng lồ people, initiating a conversation with strangers is the second biggest social fear in the Western world! So you know it’s up khổng lồ you, but there are a few things you can vì to prepare và make it easier.

Let’s start with letting go of the fear of rejection. Think of it this way: if someone came up to lớn you & struck up a conversation, wouldn’t you appreciate their efforts? I know I would, even if it was a little awkward at first.

Xem thêm: Cách Đăng Kí Sim Chính Chủ Vinaphone Online, My Vinaphone, Đăng Ký Thông Tin Thuê Bao: Đăng Nhập

Starting a conversation may be the hardest part, but not being awkward might be the second most difficult. To mitigate this, make eye tương tác and a smile. Introduce yourself first and offer your hand for a handshake. Ask for their name and remember it. If you’re afraid, try practicing. It may seem weird, but it will help a lot.

Also, not talking khổng lồ someone may make you seem pompous or arrogant. In the author’s experience, a senior vice president of a reputable company was often at many of the same events she was. Although Debra noticed him, she didn’t say anything out of fear. Later, she had to hotline him khổng lồ pitch a sale, which he declined because she ignored him every time they crossed paths.

Lesson 2: Knowing what questions to ask ahead of time goes a long way khổng lồ keep any discussion going.

I used to have a hard time talking to people. After many failed attempts at small talk, I learned to lớn have a các mục of questions ready to lớn help me get to know someone. Since then, I always have a great time talking with just about anyone I meet.

To ask great questions, first make sure they are always open-ended. Don’t ask a question lớn which the answer is “yes,” “no,” or “good,” unless you can follow it up with a deeper question. If you need some quick go-to’s for question topics, think of the size acronym. Ask questions about family, occupation, recreation, & miscellaneous topics.

Inevitably, some points in a conversation don’t allow for any good size questions. When this happens, look around for clues of what to lớn ask next. You may look khổng lồ your surroundings, what people are wearing, or the details of the sự kiện you’re attending.

However, be careful to avoid certain conversation topics. If you engage in discussing controversies, gossip, or personal misfortunes, it may lead to lớn people having a bad impression of you. Also be wary of going too deep with a casual acquaintance.

Lesson 3: Learn khổng lồ listen, people want you khổng lồ understand and connect with them when they’re speaking.

Now that you have the skills lớn strike up & continue conversations, it’s time to lớn learn how khổng lồ make them more meaningful. & the secret khổng lồ that is listening. Think back to a time when someone didn’t listen to you and you know just how important this is.

The first step seems small but is powerful. It’s about making sure that whoever you are talking with feels like you are listening khổng lồ them. Pay attention lớn your toàn thân language. Don’t hunch your shoulders, cross your arms, or fidget. Instead, maintain eye contact, nod, smile, và even lean in a little.

Take the experience of a young boy named Nicholas. Excitedly he told his father about a great day of painting, scoring a touchdown, và eating pizza. His dad, instead of listening, was reading the newspaper. When Nicholas got frustrated with his father for not listening, his father just repeated word for word what Nicholas had said. What the boy really wanted was a real connection.

Instead of being a Nicholas’s father, practice verbal cues khổng lồ help people feel lượt thích you’re listening. Make sure not lớn interrupt people as you engage, however. You might ask a follow-up question, or respond with enthusiasm about details you find interesting. Paraphrasing can also be an effective way khổng lồ help people feel heard.

The Fine Art Of Small Talk Review

The Fine Art Of Small Talk is really inspiring for anyone who feels lượt thích they just can’t talk to people. The ideas seem so simple, but applying them will have a profound effect on your conversation skills. I was particularly excited about the idea that nobody is permanently shy or introverted, và that everyone can become great at small talk!

Read full summary on Blinkist >>

không tính tiền Preview >>

Learn more about the author >>

Who would I recommend The Fine Art Of Small Talk summary to?

The 30-year-old engineer who wants to jump out of their comfort zone and get khổng lồ know more people, the 40-year-old parent of teenagers who doesn’t feel like they know how khổng lồ connect with their kids, and anyone who wants more confidence in social situations.